While the Clock Ticked: A Dixonian Portrayal of the Great Depression

by Brandon Booth

No author who wrote during the most distressful times of American history--the Great Depression--can escape the issue Americans faced at hand: loss of fortunes, bank failures, job losses, bread lines. John Steinbeck portrayed the stark realities of the Depression by writing about a family migrating west because they lost their land to a dust bowl. F. Scott Fitzgerald honed in on economic class difference in his novel The Great Gatsby. Those authors told it like it was. What about Franklin W. Dixon? The average reader at first glance might overlook such hardships. Therefore Dixon paints a rosy picture of the era: nice house, roadster, friends not hard up for
money but for ice cream, hungry for adventure. But Dixon does not forget that this is the Great Depression. That comes out in the plight of the principal outlandish characters in While the Clock Ticked, Dalrymple and Applegate.

Dalrymple is a shrewd banker. He had his head above water right from the beginning of the Great Depression. He saw alot of banks fail because customers and failed businesses could not pay their loans. Dalrymple’s bank was not going to fail. He
would not lend Amos Wandy money for some gimmick. Dalrymple could see Wandy’s freelance project was not going to pay dividends. Bombarded with requests for
loans, Dalrymple would lock himself in the secret room at a dilapidated house. “I am a busy man, and when I leave the bank and return to my house at Lakeside, business matters often follow me.” (Dixon, 1932, 30). He was that desperate to return to the secret room after several death threats. Although he stated that he had no intention of occupying the house, he could risk losing his Lakeside home in the event of a bank failure.

Hurd Applegate is a victim of the stock market crash. Though he is still living at the Tower Mansion, he has almost no money. Gone are the days when the Tower
Mansion was the masterpiece mansion of Bayport. He had to fire Henry Robinson, the caretaker from the first tome “The Tower Treasure” because he could no longer pay him. “[The Hardys] were near Hurd Applegate’s house and they saw that he was out mowing
his lawn.” (Dixon, 125). Applegate's only asset left are his stamps that someone someday would buy. But he got gypped by Jensen.

How could the reader not notice the distress of Applegate and Dalrymple during the Depression era? Applegate accused Dalrymple of stealing his stamps. Characters get angry and say things they don’t mean to say. Dixon chose subtle ways to paint the stark realities of the Great Depression. Way to go Dixon.

Table of Contents' Contents: An Analysis of Hardy Boys #11, Red and Blue spine editions

by Kenneth Maage

The fact that Franklin W. Dixon rewrote his works from the 1920s, updating them for 1962 can be categorically confirmed, while some in the Hardy Boys Literary Society and other Hardy Boys scholars believe the rewrite to be performed by a third party. Many attribute both works to the hand of Franklin W. Dixon. This second view is the one taken by this author for the purpose of comparison in this essay. To examine the main differences between Dixon’s 1932 version and his 1962 work, one needs look no further than the first few pages, to the table of contents.

The first thing one notices is the confident spacing Dixon uses between lines, as if he knows that his readers, in their leisure of the late 1920s and early 30s, have time to peruse the offerings. Readers in this time have defeated the aggressors of World war I and have yet to experience the rest of the Great Depression and World War II. Dixon is saying in the spacing of the table of contents--”take time to peruse
the contents of this book.” In his 1962 version Dixon has compressed the lined spacing. In the anxiety of the cold war, Dixon has chosen a line spacing for the table of contents that reflects both the decrease in leisure time as well as a desire to conserve natural resources.

The second thing one observes is that in both versions Dixon has chosen Roman numerals to represent the chapter numbers. While this might be viewed as a unifying aspect, one can see that Dixon is saying two different things, in a more detailed analysis. In 1932 he is saying “Remember the fall of Rome because of their drunkenness and debauchery.” In this he’s encouraging the moral thrust of prohibition. In 1962, he’s reminding readers of how Rome spread its culture and democratic principals to the ends of the then known world. In this he’s encouraging readers to stand firm in the global struggle against communism.

The third thing we notice is the 1932 table of contents is split into two pages, while in 1962 it’s contained on one page. In this, Dixon is reminding the 1932 readers that the world reamins undiscovered. We must continue to explore by “turning the page,” as it were. In 1962 Franklin W. Dixon is reminding readers that the next great step in exploration is to leave the confines of the page entirely and travel to
the moon. As the Russians have shown, they had the lead in space exploration.

In conclusion, we see the masterful hand of a brilliant artist when we examine any part of the Hardy Boys books, even the table of contents.

"Grab your dancing shoes and prepare to party!" A pediatric view of suburban life

By Christopher Waln

Phil opens this tome by bursting into the Hardy home and enticing his friends to go dancing, which he mislabels partying. Because who, really, would confuse dancing with having a good time? Anyway, Frank remarks on his appearance by comparing him to a fashion plate. My aunt Lisa used to play with fashion plates and she fondly tells tales of rubbing the chalk over the paper with the plates underneath to create all manner of outfit drawings. We’re not told which skirt and top combination Phil has on right now, but he’s humming the opening bars of Vette Smashs’s #22, “I Pop My Clutch When You Wear Red.” So we can gather from that . . . well, not much, really.

On the way to the concert, which, incidentally, is neither a party nor a dance, Phil explains that he recently started dating Chrome Jewel from the band. Then we see a small exposition about how there are actually two local bands on the verge of making it big and they hate each other. The other band is the delightfully named Green Machine. My esteemed father, who read this book to me page by page at bedtime each night and then ran out of time to type my dictated causerie for the last meeting of the HBLS, never got a Green Machine. He had a Big Wheel and while he would debate his green machine owning best friend, Mike, endlessly about the merits of the big wheel, he secretly admired and even coveted his friend’s far more cool ride.

The next scene is a little too stupid to even bother discussing save for the fact that it introduces two elements. One is that the Hardys can fight, and this is such a lame book that maybe that had to be presented so that, were this my first exposure to the Hardy Boys from my esteemed father, I would be told early on that the Hardys are cool and not actually the lame fairy dancer types with a penchant for standing around back stage watching nothing in particular that they appear to be the rest of the book. Option two is that we need to be introduced to Geo Kasper in a bold way because he actually plays an integral part in the plot, what little of it there is. While he’s guarding the back entrance he’s quietly singing Vette Smash’s country crossover hit #46, “The Dog Likes My Ride Better Than Yours.”

So the band plays two sets, Phil gets pushed by an unknown assailant, and two agents are vying to get the band to sign with them. This leads up to the big publicity stunt in which the band members will bungee jump off of a bridge to promote the band’s new soon to be hit #141, “Unfurl My Bungee Cord Of Love.” Ms. Miyazaki graciously refers to this tripe as “an interesting stunt.” The next day the Hardys are helping Phil load equipment from the storehouse and discover that an extra bungee has been intentionally cut. Phil begins furiously scribbling notes to the next song, Vette Smash’s #142, “Please Don’t Bobbitt My Bungee.” The Hardys and Phil manage to stop the jump and discover that the lead guitarist’s cord had been cut. We were told earlier that Kasper also played a pretty mean guitar, and here he’s looking at the action still quietly singing “The Dog Likes My Ride Better Than Yours.” So Ken hops in his red sports car and speeds away.

He manages to show up in time for that night’s concert, however, and it’s another two-fer. During the second show the lightning generator goes awry and poor Chrome Jewel, in her metallic outfit, takes a bolt of juice and goes down. That completely interrupts the smash hit from the first self titled album, #6, “My Distributor Cap Came Loose and Now My Juice Is Everywhere” and also puts an end to the show. Julie is, fortunately, just fine and the band soon takes to blaming Phil for all of it’s ills of late. He’s a little hurt by the accusation and during his didactic diatribe on the merits of being a friend of Frank and Joe and therefore could not possibly be a bad guy, Ray grabs the backup keyboard and starts playing the melody to Vette Smash’s #134, “Speeding Down the Highway to Loser-Ville, Population: You.”

Just in time for the next concert, they make up with Phil and that allows our imperturbable onlookers, Frank and Joe, to come and stand around while more exciting events unfold. They soon do. Green Machine takes the stage first even though Vette Smash was supposed to. As the lead guitarist is about to strike the downbeat to their first ever hit, “Big Wheels Suck, And So Do You,” he gets shocked by the guitar. As I lay in my crib I thought I heard the voice of my esteemed father falter ever so slightly and as I looked over I saw a lone tear run down his cheek. “For the Big Wheel?” I asked. He simply nodded and went on.

So Green Machine leaves in a huff and Vette Smash provides a new guitar and heads on. They, of course, lead the show with maybe their biggest hit of all time, #101, “Suck, Squeeze, Pop, Poof. Another Otto Cycle Friday Night.”

The next day, since it was Saturday, the boys slept in and then went to help the band set up for yet another concert. Ken’s car nearly ran over the boys so they hopped on the motorcycles to give chase. The car got in front of a train and the boys were behind it. When the train passed they spotted the car stuck in a ditch. Ken was in the trunk and the car was wiped clean of fingerprints. The Hardys failed, however, to check the cd still playing Vette Smash’s #18, “My Engine’s Still Hot.” Ken was fine in time for the Power Bar concert and Kasper was discovered as the bad guy. Even though the concert was on Saturday night, the third and final encore ended with the remix 17-minute dance version of “Suck, Squeeze, Pop, Poof.”

Thirteen Cents

by Karl Gunther

At the beginning of "While the Clock Ticked," the third volume of the Dixonian canon, Aunt Gertrude scolds the boys for allowing a stranger to enter the Hardy home while Fenton and Laura were away on vacation. “‘I don’t care what his name was,’ said their aunt. ‘You should be careful about letting strangers into the house.’” In response, Frank turned out his pockets and said “‘If he’d been a hold-up man he would have got thirteen cents from me.’” It is the purpose of this brief essay to examine why Frank had thirteen cents in his pocket.

It is impossible to determine what sort of purchase resulted in this amount of change. Had Frank had only one penny in his pocket, for example, we could infer that Frank had purchased a $0.99 item, receiving one penny in exchange. In 1932, however, one dollar would be the equivalent of 42 dollars today (adjusted according to the "unskilled wage" index), and it is unlikely that a teenager would be purchasing such an expensive item – especially in the early years of the Great Depression. It is also unlikely that Frank’s $0.13 was the result of a purchase made that day, as this episode seems to occur very early in the morning. Frank and Joe were preparing for an “all-day hike and picnic with some of their chums,” and had just come downstairs to set out. As Aunt Gertrude did not scold them for failing to eat breakfast, and as the hike is clearly described as “all-day,” we can safely place this episode somewhere between 7:30-8:30am, making it unlikely that Frank had already transacted business that day.

It is not necessary to suppose, however, that Frank’s $0.13 was left-over from a prior transaction. While $0.13 might not suffice for even the most meager purchase in 2005, if we remember the value of $0.13 in 1932, it is possible that Frank put the $0.13 in his pocket in anticipation of an expenditure that day. Moreover, given that Aunt Gertrude later remarks that she had just cleaned the boys’ clothes, it is unlikely that Frank was re-wearing pre-worn pants in which change remained from a prior purchase. While not conclusive, then, the cumulative force of the evidence before us suggests that Frank intentionally pocketed these $0.13, intending to spend them at some point during the day.

Why only $0.13? It is unlikely that Frank had only $0.13 at his disposal. Just recently, Frank and Joe had solved the mystery of The Tower Treasure, and were rewarded by Hurd Applegate with $500 each. When asked what they were going to do with the money, Frank and Joe stated that they were both going to put most of it in the bank. By definition, “most” would suggest a sum slightly larger than 50%, but certainly less than 100%. We can infer, therefore, that Frank probably put between $275 and $450 in the bank. While I would argue that Frank likely placed $425 in the bank, it is ultimately a moot point – there is no reason to believe that Frank could not have subsequently withdrawn the money, as there is no indication in The Tower Treasure that Frank and Joe were saving up for anything, and it is entirely reasonable to suppose that Frank and Joe placed their money in the bank to protect it from the very sorts of Bayport thieves the had just encountered. At any rate, unless Frank had made major expenditures in the very brief period between The Tower Treasure and While the Clock Ticked, it is extremely likely that he had more than $0.13 at his disposal.

It is extremely probable, therefore, that Frank intended to spend exactly $0.13 that day. We again encounter the problem we faced at the outset: it is impossible to determine the combination of goods or services which may have added up to $0.13. We are not entirely in the dark, however. Since the boys would presumably not have the opportunity to spend money during their hike in the woods, we can safely assume that Frank intended to spend this money before or after meeting up with Chet and Biff. Considering that the boys had been well-equipped with food and drink for their picnic, and taking their regular satisfaction with the quality of Aunt Gertrude’s cooking into account, we can rule out the purchase of food. Frank and Joe rarely read, making the purchase of reading material unlikely, nor do we regularly hear of them purchasing records or other leisure materials.

There is one thing, however, that Frank and Joe both consistently spend money on: their roadster. Indeed, the disrepair of their automobile provides a plot point later in the mystery, when a tire goes flat and the boys have no spare remaining – having used it the previous week and failed to replace it. This, I suggest, is the intended purpose of the $0.13. While $0.13 would not purchase a replacement tire, even given the value of the dollar in 1932, it would be sufficient to purchase the materials necessary to repair a flat tire (such as a patch kit). Caught up in the excitement of the mystery about to unfold before them, Frank forgot to make his purchase, making the $0.13 which had jangled in his pocket all day useless…although not meaningless.

The Secret Agent on Flight 101: A Dixonian Treatise on Fantastic Normalcy

by Brian Porick

"How can the hand be quicker than the eye? That's hard to believe!" (Dixon 1) remarks Chet Morton to open The Secret Agent on Flight 101, Franklin W. Dixon's 46th entry into the Hardy Boys mystery series. In typical Dixonian fashion, this statement contains more truth than a quick reading might lead one to believe. The Secret Agent on Flight 101 has long been criticized as one of the worst books in the Hardy Boys canon. It is easy to see how that might be the case. Critics point to lack of continuity and sheer absurdity of the events described within as being evidence as to the book's failure to be grounded in plausibility. However, Dixon's opening statement makes the more observant reader realize that much like the hand can indeed be quicker than the eye (as hard as it is to believe), the fantastic can be more true to reality than the mundane. The point Dixon is attempting to make is that normalcy is not equivalent to ordinariness; rather, people's lives can often be comprised of a series of extra-ordinary moments, and it is quite a normal thing. This is particularly the case for the likes of Frank and Joe Hardy, as they are asked to trace an international ring of spies headed up by a particulary slippery magician named the Incredible Hexton.

One cue that Dixon throws the reader that he is up to more than what seems is through his use of absurd acronyms. After 45 volumes of contemplative, complex thought, it is hard for any Hardy Boys fan to really think that Dixon would present his audience with such an obvious example of silliness. One has to admit that the acronyms for the Undercover Global League of Informants (or UGLI) and Secret Knowledge of
Organized Lawbreakers (or SKOOL) (Dixon 13-14) are nothing less than insulting. Why would a reader ever believe that these could pass as legitimate acronyms of espionage organizations? But that is precisely Dixon's point. He wants his reader to realize that the mere fact that these are such laughable acronyms is to cause the reader to consider the absurdity of some things that he might consider ordinary.

Another cue toward the end of Dixon's fantastic normalcy is the sheer number of airplane mishaps the Hardys get into over the course of the novel. They are first caught in a plane that is "diving vertically toward the ground" (Dixon 51). Later, Frank manages to get snagged to the tail of a helioplane as it's taking off (Dixon 83), but of course, this doesn't stop him later from climbing out on the wing of a plane thousands of feet in the air in order to remove a bomb from the nacelle of the engine (Dixon 109). One would think by this point, the Hardys would learn to avoid planes altogether, but right near the end of the mystery, they manage to get into a plane which runs out of gas and crashes into the ocean (Dixon 168). Why on earth would Dixon allow this many aerial catastrophes to occur, unless there were a larger purpose behind it all? Thankfully, for the careful Hardy Boys reader this purpose becomes increasingly clear. Isn't it those strange series of occurrences that make one's life fantastic?

Dixon best sums his own point with the words of Jack Wayne, the Hardy's pilot friend. Jack describes flying to the Hardys, but the observant reader quickly realizes that this is a metaphor for the author's larger purpose. Wayne says, "I was once told that flying involves long hours of boredom, interrupted by moments of extreme fright" (Dixon 85). It is the normalcy of the fantastic interrupting the mundane that gives life its interest and keeps us as humans on our toes. There is a certain absurdity to this jaunting rhythmof life, but Dixon points out that perhaps it is best to embrace it instead of trying to supress it. This lesson was clearly important enough to Dixon that he would risk the mass criticism that has come with the release of Secret Agent on Flight 101. If the Hardy Boys fan can look past the critics and find Dixon's underlying threads of truth, he will come away from this book well rewarded.

The Franklin W. Dixon Truths, #185: There's A Chet Shaped Hole In All Of Us

by Matt Waln

In his 185th work, Wreck and Roll, the prodigious author and mentor Mr. Dixon lays out a tale of high energy, corruption, and competition while relating a truth that so skillfully parallels American history of the last 40 years that, certainly, the reader would do well to memorize and practice daily.

Let us make a very important point that will be expounded upon later in our work. The canonical series has ended and we are well into the apocryphal writings Mr. Dixon turned out later in life. I will not delve into the life events that changed Mr. Dixon so thoroughly that his writings no longer became acceptable to the governing Council of Hardy Matters, but it must be stressed ever so strongly that the apocrypha is considered supplemental writing and not heretical to the original blue spines. It is Mr. Dixon, one and the same, more seasoned, a bit grayer, and needing to explain his secrets of aging well, but his Truths, while not carrying the full weight of Council accepted inspiration, still do not disappoint or lose their luster, and should remain in our minds a truth nonetheless.

We begin the tale with the boys lamenting the fact the Chet is not with them. Notice that throughout the entire the week they do not mention missing Tony or Biff, even when outnumbered in a parking garage brawl, but they miss Chet's aptitude and guidance right away. Indeed, Mr. Dixon lets the reader understand that it is fully Chet's moral intuition that has let him master the public school curriculum of Bayport. With his superior abilities in million man math and revisionist history, the NEA member teachers saw nothing more for him to learn in the classroom so they offered him school credit to work on his grandparent's farm. It is, unfortunately, not explained why Chet and Iola's parents were forced to give the farm to the senior generation and move to the city, but we can only assume it must be the moral decay of society manifesting itself as peer pressure for the children to live in the “cool” city and not the lame old farm. This same moral decay has inculcated the Hardys as we are introduced to their “girlfriends” and not their favorite dates. Soon Frank will put his arm around Callie's waist while on their way to some midnight drinking on a school night! Now, we fully understand that this particular school system, replete with NEA member teachers, was wholly incapable of teaching them anything, but the boys used to at least save the world only when school was cancelled. It must also be understood that at this point in the book there has been no parental involvement. Were Chet around, you can bet they'd be home with Aunt Gertrude baking for them and getting grounded in the moral fiber of life that comes with a close relationship with moral parents. Alas, he is not around and his chums quickly degenerate into roadies.

The story of the band and their slow rise to pre-eminence has many pitfalls, few pratfalls, and a bouncer without much to do named Sullivan who used to be the editor of The New Republic and now is a blogger. No doubt his liberal spin on all things has tainted the band and their number one fan, the Hardy's friend Phil. Not coincidentally, Sullivan has written didactic diatribes praising the Supreme Court's 1963 decision to remove prayer from the school system. Notice, dear reader, the timing. As the blue spine cannon is completed we shortly are treated to the courts overstepping their constitutional boundaries and imposing a ban on prayer in our schools. Soon the Hardy Boys series begins it's slow decline into immorality as the nation does the same. This immorality takes it's toll on the SAT average of the nation as well, dropping every year since, much like the character of Frank and Joe. Indeed, this slouch towards Gomorrah apparently cost them their relationship with the most powerful law enforcement officer in Bayport, Chief Collig, as they have to have “one of our police contacts” run the license plate number of a man suspiciously tailing the band members to yet another nightclub. Oh Chet - wherefore art thou?

They are trying to figure out if this man tailing the band is also the suspect for the bands many dangerous mishaps when Joe tells Frank he'll call him on Phil's cell phone. Why do they have to share a cell phone when they own a boat, motorcycles, and a plane? When they leave the nightclub and head back the band's apartment complex, driving fast becomes the topic of conversation and Phil remarks, “Let's hope that Vette Smash doesn't become a prophecy as well as a band name.” Look, Phil, there's no prophecy in the apocrypha, moron, and were there to be any prophetic band names in this book, Julie would be playing bass for “Chet's not here to stop us from turning into degenerates.”

After more late night carousing and before yet another mishap-laden concert, the girls leave for the farm. Now the Hardys realize that all this week they never even called their friend so they leave the girls with a simple “say hi for me.” Good interpersonal skills there, guys. They arrive at the concert and meet the leader of a “rival” band who calls them “Vette Smash hangers-on.” We must assume that this guy is roughly the same age as the Hardys and also a band member, but somewhere he managed to pick up proper grammar. After this concert the manager for this rival band offers Vette Smash the opportunity to sign with him, saying that he'd like to manage two talented bands. “But if we signed with you, you'd still only have one.” is the reply. The insertion of “still” implies that he is already in the position of managing a great band and the new one is the one with the unknown adjective. Had she meant to say that Vette Smash was the only great band of the two, she'd drop the word still. Nice comeback there, Jackie.

So a brawl ensues shortly after that exchange and all of the pugilists are tossed in the slammer. On page 120, four fifths of the way through the book, they finally have a conversation with dad. When they bothered to go home and eat dinner with the family, before the prayer ban and before Chet's absence, they never went to jail.

The next day Phil offers them a picnic to chaperone him and his girlfriend. It is interesting to us that the Hardys seem to have gotten stupider in the short time since Chet left. They used to own motorcycles, and we don't know what happened to them, but they are still in the same grade so presumably the aforementioned ownership was no more than a few months ago and it seems that they forgot how to ride them because Phil has to check “to make sure the brothers knew how to handle the equipment.”

One more concert mishap was all it took for the Hardys to catch their man - and still no Chet.

The Franklin W. Dixon Truths #51: Golf is more important than work

by Matt Waln

In his eminent tome, The Masked Monkey, Mr. Dixon espouses us with his fifty-first truth. We see this truth played out in a series of events involving Frank and Joe Hardy. As with his previous fifty truths, Dixon uses the boys and their fictional capers to illustrate a real life truth that the reader would do well to memorize and practice daily.

I refer the reader to page 97. ''As I understand it, Chet, you, Phil, and Tony were supposed to keep Whisperwood under surveillance,' Mr. Hardy said mildly. 'Correct, sir,' Chet said. 'But we were out golf ball scavenging when Mrs. Retson got away.'" Chet, as is usually the case in Mr. Dixon's handiwork, is the hero. His shrewed infiltration of the golf courses not only provided the answers to the case very early on, it also got the entire cast of the novel closer to the chiropractic care they so obviously needed.

Let us begin where Franklin W. Dixon, the chiropractic advocate, wants us to. At the beginning. We are introduced to J.G. Retson, sitting in his high backed chair while he "threw his hands in the air with a pained expression." It is obvious at even the most cursory glance that Mr. Retson is suffering from an upper thoracic subluxation. What the reader is not yet made aware of is that Mr. Retson has close ties with the golf course, and therefore a good local chiropractor. Mr. Dixon makes an assumption that the reader knows that nearly every golf professional has a close relationship with a chiropractor and I agree that this is safe to make. The senior Retson is back to his old self by the next time we meet up with him.

Then, on page 6, Mr. Dixon describes what might seems to be an insignificant event. But we know from his collection of classics that this will turn into a big event later. And does it ever! Joe tears his jacket jumping over a fence and a mere 5 pages later the butler offers to repair the tear. We could think the note he found in his newly repaired jacket is the reason Dixon bothered to describe this event to the reader, but we would be wrong. This enters another principle that Mr. Dixon assumes the reader is familiar with, that being hydrostatic shock. As Joe was jumping down from the fence he had scaled, his jacket caught. A force strong enough to rip the fabric would have torqued his spine ever so slightly. Because the body is mostly water, when he landed the force experienced would be carried to all parts of the body through hydrostatic shock. The minor variances in his spine would cause the force not to disperse evenly, but to be absorbed by the zygopophyseal joints. This effect would be the greatest in the neck, as the vertebrae are smallest there. We now have to wait almost 60 pages to see the culmination of this problem. This, of course, is the master author at work. He is simply showing the reader that no amount of time will consistently correct the vertebral subluxation, and competent chiropractic care is needed.

We don't have to wait 60 pages to see the next victim of subluxation, though. As Frank and Joe return home they find Aunt Gertrude in miserable shape. On page 13 we are told she "clucked like wet hen." Most likely she had a mild brainstem compression from an occipital subluxation. She showed remarkable compassion and concern for her nephews, but should have shown them a good chiropractor! With that she, sadly, “flounced out of the room." What this means, for the reader who doesn't understand the term flounce, is that she was experiencing an upper motor neuron lesion and was hyperreflexic. Her muscles were contracting at a rate faster than her brain intended. Unfortunately, Mr. Dixon never lets the reader in on whether or not proper treatment was rendered.

Next we are let in on the hero's little plan to foil the bad guys, cleverly disguised as a money making scheme. We know that Chet's feigned passion for income on page 15 is false. That is the only way to explain the idiocy behind selling golf balls for a mere quarter a piece. Chet explains to Frank and Joe, who have no clue what golf balls or golf courses are worth, that to retrieve golf balls from the water hazards some would dive into the water, but "professionals, however, don't go into the water. They use suction pumps and underwater vacuum cleaners. About sixty million balls are recovered each year, and are sold for about fifteen million dollars." Frank whistled, "That's a lot of money." "Enough to buy several golf courses," Joe remarked. Now here we are treated to the brilliance of Chet. His two subluxated chums are likely to screw things up if he lets them in on the solution to the case. He probably deduced that they were easily bamboozled by their assumption that 15 million could buy more than a couple of holes on one golf course. Now let me make clear that I hold Frank and Joe in the highest of respect, as I'm sure Chet did. It's just that Joe was the victim of a subluxation. This aberrant motion between his vertebrae caused a malfunctioning nervous system and poor overall bodily performance. Chet knew he would have to find the location of the climax on his own, and he did by page 31. Alas, it takes the two subluxated stars another 131
pages to catch up.

The plot builds here and Mr. Dixon takes a disturbing aside. On page 24 Frank asks the senior Retson why he is upset with his butler. "Well, Graham [who is the junior Retson] spent a lot of time with Harris [the butler]," Retson replied. "More than with you?" Joe asked. "Much more. I'd rather have seen the boy playing football. But no. He prefered writing verse. Harris said he liked the poetry, which could have been a come-on." Now I don't understand the writer's need to make two characters gay, except perhaps to make
the point, and it was not at all clearly made, that even the immoral deserve good chiropractic care. But I digress.

As we move forward to page 70 we see Joe almost dive into a pool full of piranhas. As Frank yells for him not dive, Joe almost loses his balance. This sad incident is explained by the vestibulo-cochlear system receiving sensory input from the mechanoreceptors in the cervical spine. Remember his cervical subluxation from the fence jumping? This sensory input was corrupted at the level of the subluxation in his neck. It's a wonder he didn't fall to his doom! A mere two pages later we are treated to another incident of Joe falling down and only barely eluding his would be captors. It is sad when you realize that a quick, safe chiropractic manipulation could have solved this problem and allowed his nervous system to again be whole. But this is a lesson for the reader, not our subluxated hero. And soon he will fall again, only this time he will not evade capture!

We now see that Chet is not perfect. On page 115 Frank and Joe realize that Chet was right all along and they go with him to the golf course. There they find a gun and a mysterious caller wants them to bring it back to the course the following night. This caused Chet great apprehension, according to page 126. We soon see how great, as the subluxation resultant from the stress shows up only two pages later. "He stretched uncomfortably." the book says, and we know why, what with the sympathetic dominance caused by stress causing overactive muscles, reduced range of motion, and lack of oxygen to the muscles and joints.

It is only a sad case that Joe didn't learn from Chet and get adjusted. Soon Frank and Joe go golfing. I cannot thank Mr. Dixon enough for his accurate depiction of the ravages of a subluxation, as it takes Frank only one hole to take a commanding lead over his brother with the diminished capacity. Then these two "non-Chets" were standing where they shouldn't have been and Joe gets beaned with an errant drive. The concussive forces taking place should have given them reason to visit a chiropractor right away, but they waited. They waited too long as Joe falls yet again and is captured. Fortunately for the boys, the criminals are as dumb as in the first fifty Dixonian Lessons, and with the help of Chet, they prevail.